Balmung's oldest* underground fight club! Every 2nd and 4th Tuesday on Balmung, 6pm Pacific, 9pm Eastern.

*Okay, we can't prove that, but we have been in it for at LEAST a minute.

WHAT the fuck is the Gin Mill?

  • A fight club.

  • An excuse to hang out.

  • Cheap therapy?

  • A twice-monthly vibe check upside the head.

  • Fucking fun, what kind of dumbass question is this?

Often imitated, never duplicated. We picked up the reins of the Gin Mill’s previous incarnation and have kept it alive and kicking, and also punching, and sometimes throwing pocket sand since 2017, and we’re still going strong. We’re part pit fight, part gutterpunk throwdown, with a pinch of wrestling showmanship and a handful of hot dumpster-fire mess.…okay, it’s more like a double fistful of dumpster fire, but details, man.SLIGHTLY more seriously, we’re a Crystal Datacenter-based, twice-monthly fight event on Balmung, with fewer rules and somewhat more grittiness than most. In-character, the only real rules are no weapons unless both sides agree, no starting shit during the event outside of your match, and no magic. Out-of-character, it's pretty simple:

  • Don’t be an asshole. Your character might be, sure, but you shouldn’t be.

  • Keep /yell clear for active matches and event runners.

  • Respect your fellow fighters and attendees. Absolutely no racism, sexism, homophobia, aphobia, pan- or biphobia, arophobia, lesbophobia, transphobia, antisemitism, Islamophobia, fatphobia, slut-shaming, or ANY other expressions of hate or oppression in our chat channels, our linkshells, or our Discord. This is a ZERO-TOLERANCE policy, and we reserve the right to enforce it however the hell we need to.

  • The Gin Mill says TRANS FUCKING RIGHTS.

  • Don't interrupt the event without explicit permission from the showrunners. This includes writing your character being seriously maimed or killed, seriously maiming or killing someone else, or anything else that would break the IC rules. If you wanna have something major go down, though, just ask us, we can probably work it in!

  • Nobody cares if getting punched super hard in the face triggers your Dark Knight urges and makes you want to slaughter everyone in the audience and bathe in their blood. Keep it in your pants until after your match, and then whatever you do away from the fight site isn't our problem.

  • Don't attack anyone OOC or have hurt feelings over losing. It’s just fucking RNG, y'all, let the dice land where they do and have fun with it. Your character can ‘lose’ and you can still win by having a great RP about it.

How do I sign up?

You can just show up and do it on-site, or you can go click the big red button down there at the bottom that says "Sign Me the Fuck UP." Can't miss it.

Is there actually gin at the Gin Mill?

That's gonna be a hard maybe.

WHEN the fuck is the Gin Mill?

  • Every 2nd and 4th Tuesday of the month.

  • 6pm Pacific, 9pm Eastern.

  • That's it. It's pretty simple. We usually take about 30 minutes to assemble and do on-site signups, and then we're ready to roll.

  • If you need an earlier or later match for whatever reason, just let us know. We're pretty disorganized flexible.

WHERE the fuck is the Gin Mill?

Ain't that the million-gil question! We move around now and then to keep things fresh and also maybe to keep from getting arrested.
Assuming we didn't fuck off and forget to update the carrd, we're currently chilling at the following location...

BALMUNG: Camp Cloudtop Airship

Sea of Clouds (X:8, Y:32)The airship landing right behind Camp Cloudtop, same teleport destination, Sea of Clouds

Beat the heat or just beat each other in the heat, whatever works best. We don't recommend throwing people into the river in the back of the caverns but we might also look the other way if you do.

WHO the fuck is responsible for this mess?

Ren

Ren

  • Ingame: Renaux Mercier

  • Discord: Renaux#8571

Ren

Martin

  • Ingame: Martin Freepaw

  • Discord: niishakes#6969

Ren

Pim

  • Ingame: Pim Harris

  • Discord: Uendwen#2705

HOW the fuck do I get in on this?

It's as easy as showing up. We take sign-ups on the spot, no big deal. That being said, if you want to sign up ahead of time, there's this big button right down bottom that says "Sign Me the Fuck UP" and that'll take you directly to our sign-up form. You can sign up as early as RIGHT NOW, even.No, really. Literally right now. You can just do that. It's cool.Also, right next to that big button is another big button that says "Fucking DISCORD" which will dump you directly into the gods-forsaken internet hole we call home. If you got questions, comments, wanna slap us for this carrd making your eyes burn, or just need the absolute most freshest updates known to man, hop on in.

Also, HOW the fuck do the fights work?

Gin Mill’s fight mechanics use Grindstone rules and /random, and take place in /yell to set them apart from the chatter. Any ties are rerolled. If you roll 420 or 69 nothing special happens but we will definitely make wead and/or sex number jokes.

  • At the start of the fight, both opponents roll /random for turn order/initiative.

  • The highest number attacks first and writes a combat description in /yell.

  • Both participants /random to see if it effectively hits or not.

  • If it does, the attacker gets a point. If not, the score stays the same.

  • The defender now becomes the attacker! The defender describes accordingly in their next /yell post their counter attack and rolls a /random to see if they hit.

  • The new defender rolls /random to dodge, then becomes attacker again and writes a description and rolls /random accordingly.

  • The match continues back and forth in this way until someone loses, or if we have a timer that night, time runs out, at which point either the highest score wins - or if there’s a tie - we have a simple Sudden Death /random and the highest roll of the two is declared winner.

  • First to score three points is declared winner, and the loser can tap out, be knocked out, etc. as they see fit—this is considered OOC info, it isn't ‘first to three hits’ IC.

  • Depending on how many fights or events within the event we have on the roster, there may be a 20-30 minute time limit, with the timer starting from first description posted.